On my way home from dinner, I just drove past my house, again. I just drove and listened to music. Collected thoughts about leaving this place, but mostly about how lonely I feel. I did it myself really. I can control who I push away and who I let in. I have made bad decisions, but I can only hope to get them back on track and keep those I do love close.
Back to being lonely… It’s more of a longing for something I thought I had once upon a time. Before he decided to come along, I was good at being alone and keeping my distractions in front of me. These days I am not so good at that. How do I get back to that place? That is my ultimate question at the moment. Until I figure it out, I will write and sit with my wine.
